Nervous System Principle #1: Awareness Before Understanding

Are you listening?

At first, the sound is just crackles. Pops. Buzzing.

Static.

Then some sort of strange muddled music.

Next, you can make out some words mixed in. What are they saying? You can’t make it out.

You keep listening and it slowly becomes clearer.

Crisper.

You can hear each word. Each instrument. Each drum beat.

Principle

Our nervous system and subconscious can be aware of something much sooner than our prefontal cortex understands it. Creating more safety and capacity in our life can allow the messages to be received more easily.

Our nervous system often will give us hints or impulses. We can feel in some way that certain moments in our life are significant. They matter in some way. They are connected to something deep inside of us.

It’s almost like a part of us is saying, “Listen to this. Watch this. Notice this. It is important. This is for you.”

This nervous system/body/impulse message is often there, but we do not mentally understand what EXACTLY it means. It can be days, weeks, months, or years, later when this awareness becomes more clear. More defined. Then, we finally GET IT from an intellectual understanding.

Often times, we will not really GET IT, until we have built up enough safety and support and are able to stay present with it.

There is a Christian based movie called Wildflower, about a woman who had dealt with various traumas. Eventually her subconscious material started to surface in a stronger way. She had dreams and flashbacks where images and memories were showing up. She says

Our subconscious says to the conscious, “I think you are ready for me to bring some stuff out of storage. Here you go.”

Personal

Example 1:

I had been doing somatic work for about 4-5 years. No parts were really clear. Honestly I did not believe in IFS or Parts Work. I thought it was stupid and silly. Just something that people were making up. Some sort of delusion or construct.

I didn’t hear any voices that made a lot of sense. I couldn’t see my parts. Where was all of my dysregulation coming from?

Then, I had a good amount of support for a period of time, socially and therapeutically. After some touch-based work, and peer-counseling, I was starting to notice densities in my body more clearly. Different places that felt black or white. Heavier, thicker, darker. Lighter, more open. Sadness started surfacing. Emotion started surfacing. Moments of appreciation. Tiny moments of joy. Emotional color. But still, nothing that lasted or was very concrete.

In the Spring/Summer of 2023, I was somewhat obsessed and focused on certain symbols. I wanted to make a name and a logo for this new somatic business I was considering. Some of these symbols felt really important in some way. I just didn’t know how or why.

In the Fall of 2024, over one year later, these symbols finally unlocked a door. At last, I could enter into my subconscious on a personal, detailed level.

Parts of me knew that the symbols meant something back in 2023, but it took a long time for me to really understand why they were important. To really see what they were connected to from the perspective of my subconscious parts.

Example 2:

Consider fatigue and energy.  My main profession for about 11 years has been cleaning residential and commercial windows. It’s a fairly physical job, and beyond my true capacity, but I need the work, so I’ve somehow kept at it. I am still on the spectrum of chronic illness with a decent amount of fatigue, post exertional malaise, and other symptoms. For the last 3-4 years at least, I had been noticing how I got so exhausted and burnt out by September or October. However, I always found a way to continue pushing through. I got some time off in the winter, but still took on way too many things, trying to cram it all in to push me forward.

Every September-November, my nervous system would be saying, “This is really not sustainable. You are exhausted. You can’t keep going like this. You need to slow down.”

But I did. And I did some more. Year after year.

I was pretending to listen or attempting to. I was not REALLY listening.

In November of 2025, something in me said, “You are done. You need to be alone. You need space away from people. You need to rest. You need to stop. You can’t keep going like this.”

I finally started to ACTUALLY listen the best I could. I still didn’t understand what was happening.

At the same time, for the past several years, my subconscious was “taking inventory”. I noticed that a few people, health educators, friends, colleagues, had Aspergers, or were diagnosed on the Spectrum. I found more of a connection to these people, but didn’t think too much about it. I also was aware that when I followed restrictive diets that were helpful for autistic people, I felt significant improvements in my health, but I didn’t necessarily connect it. I made a friend who had moved to the area, and saw that he was the only person who could give me helpful advice with some confusing times I was going through. He is on the Spectrum. Then, I noticed I was attracting several neurodivergent clients. One of these, after just a few TRE sessions and tuning in to her body, discovered that she was neurodivergent as well and had been highly masking her whole life. Finally, some things started clicking, and I took some evaluations. I was finally diagnosed to be neurodivergent myself in April, 2026.

So what happened? I had hit the wall of Autistic Burnout. Or perhaps, my nervous system fight/flight/freeze/collapse had lessened and integrated enough, so that this constant pushing was getting less and less intense. So, then underneath it was just the fatigue without the push. The actual energy, without the artificial kick of “caffeine” or “stimulant” nervous system patterns. Or maybe a blend of both of these things.

For years my subconscious knew that these little connections were all important. It wasn’t until much later, that I could really GET THE MESSAGE and understand WHY.

(I might share more about this at a future time.)

Somatic Sessions:

As we explore the body, sensations, emotions, and impulses, sometimes not much arises at first.

It doesn’t feel like anything. You cannot see it. You cannot feel it. You cannot express it. You cannot hear it. However, over time, it changes. The body says, “Ok. There is a little safety here. We can allow just a little bit to come through.”

The sensation or pain might shift into a feeling of a lightness or heaviness. Maybe your mind will start to bring up a color. Maybe a symbol or a picture will arise.

As we return, perhaps even taking many sessions, emotions can surface. Memories can surface. You might start to see a character or a person that represents this part of you. As you stay with that, patiently witnessing it, you might start to make out this character’s appearance. Maybe its face. Its size. Its clothes. Its energy. Its intention. Its beliefs about itself and about the world.

The fog starts to slowly lift, and you start to gradually understand what it is. What it wants. What it needs.

You learn what SELF is and how to access it. How to expand it. What it feels like. What it looks like. And how SELF can start to support the whole system.

The sound becomes more and more refined, as the static starts to fade.

Practical Application:

Some things to think about:

• Are there any hints or clues that your nervous system is trying to point out to you?
• Is there resistance to listening to your nervous system’s messages?
  • Is there fear, shame, anger, sadness or beliefs connected to this resistance?

• Do you notice any impulses or feelings in your life that:
  • “something is important here”,
  • “something needs to change”,
  • “something is not adding up”
  • “I should say or do something”
  • “I should avoid doing or saying something.”

• Do you find yourself drawn to particular artwork, music, books, symbols, or images that might have a deep connection to your own internal system?

*Notice: I’m glad to provide these resources to empower your personal health journey, not as a substitute for professional medical care. While I encourage sharing links, please respect the intellectual property of Mountain and Meadow Health, LLC. You are responsible for your own health outcomes. Consult with your trusted health advocates before making significant changes. Contact Evan Ritter for professional licensing.”

Photo Credits:

• alireza-attari-SBIak0pKUIE-unsplash