Photo Credit:ronald-crow-unsplash
What are the 4 main levels of connection?
- Thoughts
- Sensations
- Emotions
- Impulses
It doesn’t seem like most of us are open to sharing these with others. From what I observe, most of us communicate about things like the weather, our work, our families, our roles, our hobbies, our entertainment, the news. We might just feel safe enough to share facts and details. Some of us feel comfortable enough to share some of our thoughts with others about these topics. Going a little deeper, some people are more open and share some of their emotions and a maybe a small amount of sensations as well. Rarely do we talk about our impulses. Usually though we stay on the surface level with most around us, unless we feel a stronger sense of trust and safety with them.
How can we connect with others without ever sharing and listening to each other’s experiences and thoughts, sensations, emotions, and impulses? Did you ever notice how you can spend a couple hours with people chatting about 500 questions and talk and talk and talk about random “stuff” that is going on, but you have the thought that they really told you nothing at all about themselves and that they don’t understand you at all? Who are they as a person? You don’t even know them. How do you feel? Unsatisfied?
But then you can spend 20 minutes with somebody and both of you share more deeply what is happening in your lives, openly and honestly and with non-judgment. How do you feel? Aah. Wow! They listened to me. They understand me. I listened to them. I get what is happening for them. I can put myself in their place. We’ve just really CONNECTED.
I know it is not easy, but can you find a person or persons that you can start to CONNECT with? Not just talk. Not just ask questions. Not just stay on the surface. But really take some time to share your experience in detail and to not be rushed by them, and to really listen to their experience and not rush them either.
SLOW DOWN AND SHARE. SLOW DOWN AND LISTEN. CONNECT.
What do you think it would be like to share:
- What an experience, conversation, event, news item, movie, song, picture, day, or memory made you think, sense, emotionally feel, or feel impelled to do?
- What do I love? Why do I love it?
- What do I hate? Why do I hate it?
- What do I fear? What am I scared of?
- Where do I feel hurt? How would I express that in words?
- What makes me happy? What do I appreciate? How could I tell somebody that?
- When do I feel ashamed? How would I describe this bodily feeling to someone?
- What am i sensing in my body?
- What do I value? Why is this important to me?
- What are my needs?
- What are my desires?
- What are my dreams and hopes? How would I describe them?
- What are my goals?
- What am I feeling pulled toward? What am I pushing away from? Why? How would I describe it?
- What are my priorities in life? Why are these so important to me?
