Listening to the body can be very hard. You may have intelligently learned to numb out or push down your sensations, impulses, and emotions in order to survive. You may have learned this skill months, years, or even decades ago. But now, you are seeing the importance of tuning in to the wisdom of your body. What does it need to say? What does it want you to hear?
First of all, give yourself some slack. It will most likely not happen overnight. It might take months or years to learn to listen to your body. Actually, we should always be continuing to develop this awareness. So, really, it is a lifelong journey. So try to be patient and kind to yourself as you move forward.
Sometimes, we have ignored our body and its messages for so long, we don’t even know where to start, or it seems like it doesn’t have anything to tell us.
So start small…
Ideally, it is good to listen to the body throughout the whole day in whatever we are doing. As a starting place though, let’s start to learn this at the time we are doing a practice or having a session. Check in with your body. Before, during, and after the session, bring some awareness there. This can be whether you are doing bodywork or TRE, or even working with a therapist, coach, counselor, etc. Is there any sign or any hint that one option would feel good right now, or just a tiny bit better than the other option? Do I have an inclination that I would rather do “this” thing instead of “that” thing?
Even if it is a tiny adjustment or your brain is telling you that it seems so insignificant, try to slow down a bit and notice. You see, as we slowly start listening to what we want, what we need, and what our body is trying to tell us, even in little ways, we start to reteach our nervous systems and ourselves that what it has to say can be heard. It can be responded to. It can express a desire or a need or a boundary and actually get what it is asking for. As we continue to do this, slowly over time, the body and nervous system can open up further and further and guide us in a direction to heal our past wounds.
For me, I remember it was very small things. Just starting to be aware whether I was cold or not. Noticing…”my feet would feel better with socks. Oh, I think I need a jacket too.”
“It doesn’t feel good to be lying staring up at a bright light. It strains my eyes. Let me adjust my lighting.”
“It feels like my body wants to move and get more out today so I am going to give it more time to do that.” Or, “today I’m feeling very anxious and activated and that just a few minutes would be helpful and then a more calming, grounding practice afterwards.” “That was not enough this week and I need more next week.” Or, “that was too much this week and I felt jittery and my sleep was messed up, so I better slow things down.”
“I feel overwhelmed with lots of eye contact right now. Can you give me some space? Can I shut my camera off for a bit and let my nervous system settle down?”
Here is just a small sample of body awareness ideas for you to explore.
Before:
- Do I need to use the bathroom?
- Do I need a drink?
- Something warm or something cold?
- Do I feel better with food in my stomach or on an empty stomach before the session?
- Would I prefer more support for this session by way of a pillow or cushions under my neck, back, legs,etc?
- Is my body warm enough? Do I want to get some socks, a sweater, or a fleece?
- Is my body cool enough? Do I need to cool down first?
- Would it feel good to have a blanket today or something soft and cozy with me?
- How is my lighting? Does it feel safer with softer lighting or less lights on? Does it feel safer with more lights on?
- Would I feel supported with a weighted blanket today?
- Do I have a desire to be in a different room or location today?
- Do I want to make my space quieter to block out distractions?
- Do I have an intention or goal for the session?
During:
- Do I want a longer or shorter session today?
- Do I need more or less physical space from my coach, therapist, practitioner?
- Do I desire more or less eye contact right now?
- Do I have a need to talk more today, or do I get the feeling I want to talk less and just listen to someone else guide me?
- Do I want to adjust my position or posture to be more comfortable, more open, more easily seen? Or do I feel like I am more vulnerable today and shut down and need to go at a slow pace with lots of reassurance?
After:
- How was that session today?
- What worked well for me?
- What didn’t work so well?
- What helped me feel safe and supported the most?
- Do I have any moments where I can say “I really enjoyed it when he or she said or did “this” thing and “that” thing. Or when I heard my coach use those words or that guidance it really hit home for me. I want more of that.” ?
Your body wants to be heard.
I know it can often feel like baby steps, or 2 steps forward, 1 step back, but
Keep walking forward. Slowly, steadily. One little step at a time.
